10 Things That Can Destroy Your Relationship

Love is not the only reason to start a relationship. Beyond
love, there should be more to offer. If a relationship lacks
these vital capsules, then it would be of less value. You need
to work hard to make your relationship work else it
crumbles.

I will be highlighting 10 things that can destroy your
relationship. As you read, ponder on them, evaluate
yourself on the attitudes you are guilty of and work towards
a better life this new year to enjoy your relationship.
1. Unforgiveness and Bitterness:
I really love to start with this because of its effects. It deals
with the mind. Its a strong emotion that can affect your
relationship. Its normal to argue and have
misunderstandings but its abnormal to keep records of
wrong doings. Why would a fresh argument come, and you
start bringing up all the wrongs that has happened weeks
and months back. Its possible you don't forget all but do
forgive. One great aspect of love is forgiveness and God has
always demonstrated it to us. Unforgivness creates a gap in
your connection, even your communication breaks down. If
you have an unforgiving spirit, may the Lord touch you and
give you a new heart. Keeping feeding on the word of God
and your mind will be transformed.
2. Lack of good communication:
Without a good communication thread, everything would
seem awkward. Its very necessary for you to always connect
with your partner daily. Talk about your day, life goals, new
developments , spiritual walk with God et al. There is
nothing like being too busy. Spending 5minutes before you
sleep after an hectic day is better than no communication at
all.
Is your relationship suffering from a communication break
down? There are two ways to it. Its either your partner is
truly busy. Its better you find ways to adjust your schedules
and let your partner time fits in. It could also mean you are
drifting apart because its all fading away. Your partner could
lost interest or be spending time with someone else. Find
out which reason it is and work on it. Just make sure you
don't force yourself on a partner that has left the scene a
long time ago.
Be a good listener. Listen to what they have to say and pay
attention to it. Respond with gestures and questions to show
you are listening. Don't be quick to ignore them especially
women. Listen in all manner and be ready to listen for the
sake of understanding and giving positive response too.
3. Lack of trust:
Most people keep saying they can't trust a man or woman. If
you live your life pondering on whether to trust or not, you
might just miss out on some benefits from some people.
The human nature can be deceitful quite alright but you
need to learn to expect anything. Stop judging people. Be
free and be careful with people. People might betray you
but work on your mind towards them. If you keep thinking
that your partner is cheating on you, then you are opening
the door for the devil to make something happen. If you
have been cheating on your partner, you would also think
your partner is cheating too. Bottom line is, learn to avoid
thinking negative.
4. Having no spiritual covering:
Its wrong to be in a relationship and have no spiritual
covering. You should seek God's counsel. Pray that God
direct you both. You should also involve your pastor to
guide and counsel you. Having a carefree relationship isn't
too polite if you are heading to marriage. If you are hiding
your relationship from your parent or pastor then it means
something is wrong with what you do.
5. Insecurities :
Insecurity is a state of being subject to danger and
vulnerability. It is a state of uncertainty. Insecurity can come
in various forms like fear, jealousy, obsession etc. You need
to stop having the fear of loosing your partner, rather be
conscious of not loosing yourself in the relationship.
Jealousy is a state of suspicious guarding towards your
spouse or partner. When you get too jealous over your
partner, you can do and undo. You need to control that rage
of jealousy in you. Other guys or ladies would always be
around your partner, so you need to learn to calm your
nerves down and stop drawing assumptions or conclusions.
Express your feeling to your partner but not as if you are
weak. You don't always have to monitor who was on phone
with your partner, where they are or what they are doing. Its
just a sense of insecurity towards your partner.
Obsession is a dangerous feeling too. You must learn not to
be over possessive over your partner. Stop making it a do or
die affair.
Whether in a relationship or marriage, avoid unnecessary
fear, jealousy and obsession over your partner.
6. Lack of commitment:
Its wrong to expect love to do it all for you in a relationship.
You need to show commitment towards making it better
than the previous times. Put in all efforts, time and ideas
that can make the relationship grow. Don't expect an
outsider to make it work. Don't feel love is enough. Put in
that same passion you put before you got her. Put in that
same sense of fashion and wholeness you had while he was
chasing you.
Be affectionate to your partner. Don't always assume that
they know how you feel for them. Men love to feel loved and
women loves to hear sweet words too.
7. Having no future plans:
There is no point being in a relationship with no future.
Don't be deceived! Why would a man date you for 5years
before choosing to marry you or not. 2years is even too
much. 6months is enough to make a decision. That is the
purpose of friendship before a relationship. Its a time to
observe, ponder, evaluate, decide to make it work or not.
Avoid time wasters in your life. Some men and women don't
even know what they want. They would date you for years
and later tell you they don't see anything working out.
Beware!!!
8. Allowing third party interference:
Its normal to have misunderstandings in your relationship.
It makes you get to know each other better. Understanding
your partner is a gradual step that you need to work on. You
don't need to always table your differences to them. You
don't know what they have in mind for you.
9. Lack of knowledge:
Knowledge is a vital necessity for any relationship to
succeed. You need to know your love languages,
temperament and personality differences. You might not
know this if you don't get to read about it. Why not make it a
duty to buy books that can help your relationship positively
and work towards knowing yourself better. You might find
out so much when you do. Listen to messages and apply
wisdom in your approach.
10. Lack of Support:
What's is the point being in a relationship with you if you
have nothing to offer? Don't always plan to receive always,
be willing to give. Support your partner with ideas, finance
(according to your capability), counsel etc that can make
them better in their career, ministry or life goals. Don't be
the quiet or clueless partner who is always listening and not
giving any quality response. Men love women who can
contribute meaningful ideas to their plans.

By Adenike Adedokun
@NikeAdedokun
Relationship and Sexuality expert
www.relationshipcapsules.com

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